War of the Boobs!

There is a lot of discussion going on at the moment about breastfeeding and the way it is being somewhat pushed onto new mothers. To be honest, I don't blame women for feeling bullied about breastfeeding. I am a doula, breastfeeding counselor and childbirth educator. I often get harshly questioned when I support mums who's choices don't fall within the 'all natural birth and breast fed' box.

Ironically those questioning me are often the ones who have worked hard for their birth choices to be respected. They often seem to forget that their right of choosing what is best for them and their situation is what they fought for in the first place, and that they are now becoming the ones disregarding someones else birth choices because they don't fall in with their birth/feeding/parenting beliefs.

There is one IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant) that I have had the displeasure of dealing with. As a person I do not like her, but I made the mistake of respecting her due to her hard earned qualifications. IBCLC's study hard and have to pass exams as well as renew their qualifications every few years. It is a qualification that takes time, commitment, hard work and compassion. I guess this particular IBCLC had skipped the chapters on compassion and empathy.

Before I became qualified as a breastfeeding counsellor and before I had met two other wonderful IBCLC's, I made the mistake of sending three of my mums to this particular IBCLC. Not one continued breastfeeding afterwards and when I followed up I found out that although they had been offered a wealth of textbook information they had received very little to no real practical help and were made to feel inadequate and selfish because they had given their babies a few feeds of formula at the hospital, which they had been pushed into doing by lazy and uneducated staff. What first time mum, who does not know different, not give their baby formula if the hospital is telling them that they are starving their baby and that's why their baby is crying? That's a whole other blog for another day...

Many natural birth and breastfeeding advocates can't understand how someone like me who has a vast amount of education and information about birth and breastfeeding can stand by, and in their words 'allow women make bad choices'. I always answer that I am confident that I have given my mums and dads all the information and support they need to reach their choices and that I will happily stand by and support them in what they choose because I am not pro breast or pro bottle, nor am I pro natural or pro caesarean. I am pro mum and baby.

My mums come to me because they want to know their options. I believe that the support I show them eventually gets payed forward to another mum because they know how it felt to be respected and supported. New mums-to-be who feel that non judgmental support in the early stages tend to be more open to finding out what else is out there about birth and what choices are available to them.

Advocates and educators of all kinds need to remember that you will catch more flies with sugar then with vinegar. If you want someone to see your point of view, don't be pompous or treat mums and their partners like uneducated idiots who should know better because you then can not expect them to want to learn the wealth of knowledge you have to share.

Pregnancy, parenting and beyond. PC need not apply!

I've never blogged before and I'm sure that this will be obvious to whoever ends up reading this. But hey ho, I don't care.

I've wanted to do this for such a long time that I have made it my New Year's resolution (likely the only one I will do). I want to put myself out there and say what most people are thinking. And yup, I know that is exactly what blogging is about and that I'm stating the obvious. :-)

I work within the birthing community and I'm a parent. I don't always get to say what I think since I have made it my mission to not only support women and their families and their choices but to help others respect those choices too. As a parent I've chosen to do the play dates and the volunteering when I can, smile politely and not punch another parent when their kid has done something to mine.

I love my work and my family, but bloody hell, I get really tired of being so PC and nice at work and on school runs. I want to write about what I'm thinking and generally about the quirky and humours side of pregnancy, parenting and beyond while staying honest, even if it means I have to tell you that no, your bits don't go back exactly as they started off, and that yes I love my child, but sometimes I don't want to be mummy. I just want to be me (with a very large glass of wine in my hand) xx